Difficult to judge out of context of a full vid, but very useful nonetheless, and exciting to see this finally start to come together. Bearing in mind its my role to forenscially nitpick, and you're still at initial rough cut stage, I'd offer the following thoughts - the detail is that you'd expect if we were in a lesson! Btw, I watched this a few times with audio off as well, which made it easier to home in on elements not linked to pace/cutting to track
SUMMARY: + Reasonable pace + some very nice zippy passages + Clearly good range of material to work from - Pace still lacks 'zip'/tighter reflection of track - Excessive shakiness; lot of takes can be split into separate takes to get round this, or just cut before the 2nd movement/biggest shake - Narrative a little difficult to read still? - Needs a little spicing/breaking up; just too long for this expository strand alone
THE DETAIL: 1: very slightly (2-3 secs) extend opening to incorporate a diegetic intro? the sound of the clacking heels (might need re-recording if there's too much other sound on actual footage), and a fade-up from black. Quite a common approach and adds a touch to narrative enigma? You could shift train bit ina few secs (or record 'doors opening') 2: pace is reasonable, but maybe needs greater zippiness, specifically sharper (targeted) cutting to beat/rhythm. Some takes clearly need sharper trimming/cutting 3: >1min just too long for this footage ALONE? even if its enigmatic glimpses of performance gaga, that would probably help to break it up? 4: some SFX would help with this too. 2 particular ideas: multiple shot-in-shot (very brief) as a bridging device, could be used more than once [I know you've done some experimenting on this, but think BRIEF!]; some FX on the dropping guiitar shot, which is a key point in narrative and audio/track 5: shakiness of sev shots in cafe is excessive 6: cross-fading +/or overlay reduced opacity film Gaga staring at points? 7: shot at 0:28 needs trimmed; just unconvincing? 8: 0:30 too obviously zoomed/low res - maybe a point to try layering to mask this? (solving 7+8?) 9: 0:36, guy staring at camera - croppable? also v shaky - shot has huge shake half way thru take. guy looks at couple at first; so just use less? 10 0:41 crossing road, camera hasn't sharply caught this - again, layering (perf gaga?) might rescue this 11 0:42 cam whips down (shot's fine) then back up again; needs cut before that 2nd movement 12 1min+ Maybe crosscut signs go up/gaga takes down? if so, could also experiment with wipes/other FX/transitions? 13 1:11 there's a clear unintended jump cut!
Difficult to judge out of context of a full vid, but very useful nonetheless, and exciting to see this finally start to come together. Bearing in mind its my role to forenscially nitpick, and you're still at initial rough cut stage, I'd offer the following thoughts - the detail is that you'd expect if we were in a lesson! Btw, I watched this a few times with audio off as well, which made it easier to home in on elements not linked to pace/cutting to track
ReplyDeleteSUMMARY: + Reasonable pace + some very nice zippy passages
+ Clearly good range of material to work from
- Pace still lacks 'zip'/tighter reflection of track
- Excessive shakiness; lot of takes can be split into separate takes to get round this, or just cut before the 2nd movement/biggest shake
- Narrative a little difficult to read still?
- Needs a little spicing/breaking up; just too long for this expository strand alone
THE DETAIL:
1: very slightly (2-3 secs) extend opening to incorporate a diegetic intro? the sound of the clacking heels (might need re-recording if there's too much other sound on actual footage), and a fade-up from black. Quite a common approach and adds a touch to narrative enigma? You could shift train bit ina few secs (or record 'doors opening')
2: pace is reasonable, but maybe needs greater zippiness, specifically sharper (targeted) cutting to beat/rhythm. Some takes clearly need sharper trimming/cutting
3: >1min just too long for this footage ALONE? even if its enigmatic glimpses of performance gaga, that would probably help to break it up?
4: some SFX would help with this too. 2 particular ideas: multiple shot-in-shot (very brief) as a bridging device, could be used more than once [I know you've done some experimenting on this, but think BRIEF!]; some FX on the dropping guiitar shot, which is a key point in narrative and audio/track
5: shakiness of sev shots in cafe is excessive
6: cross-fading +/or overlay reduced opacity film Gaga staring at points?
7: shot at 0:28 needs trimmed; just unconvincing?
8: 0:30 too obviously zoomed/low res - maybe a point to try layering to mask this? (solving 7+8?)
9: 0:36, guy staring at camera - croppable? also v shaky - shot has huge shake half way thru take. guy looks at couple at first; so just use less?
10 0:41 crossing road, camera hasn't sharply caught this - again, layering (perf gaga?) might rescue this
11 0:42 cam whips down (shot's fine) then back up again; needs cut before that 2nd movement
12 1min+ Maybe crosscut signs go up/gaga takes down? if so, could also experiment with wipes/other FX/transitions?
13 1:11 there's a clear unintended jump cut!